I cannot explain why I bought a roomy, neon tank top that declares “PUMP UP THE JAM” in lettering that takes up the whole frontal fabric space.
However, I can rationalize it: It was $2 at Salvation Army and looked good next to the black ankle boots I was getting for $5.
Does that make it okay?
Does this make me the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?
Hopefully it can be styled in such a way that it’s not ridiculously 90s hip hop. But hey, I do several other things I’m too white for anyway, such as standing in direct sunlight.