I Narrowly Escaped Keratin Hair Destruction

What’s cooler than smoothing your hairs with an at-home keratin treatment? Finding out a day later that the product was swiftly discontinued and is now the target of a class action lawsuit. Oops.

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I guess that’s what I get for using a cheap drugstore replacement for a chemical protein-restoring treatment that generally runs from $150-$300 at salons. It sounded like an economical way to tame my long, haystack-esque hair. Plus, the ingredient list excused it from the formaldehyde controversy already surrounding the popular service.

I wouldn’t have tried it if I knew it was allegedly making people’s hair fall out. Luckily, I didn’t have this side effect. I’m pretty careful in the presence of anything that smells like chemical warfare and requires gloves for safe handling. I repeated the instructions in my head like Hail Mary’s and timed each step with my phone’s timer.

The mild results: hair that felt like cornsilk. A week later, it still looks a bit smoother and straighter than before.

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Sometimes wind blows at exactly the right time. Wearing: American Apparel lace tee

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Because the smoothing kit was discontinued – not recalled – I assume there was a high incidence of user error. The website says customers who already bought the kit can still use it, but reminds them to follow the directions closely and make sure the product is appropriate for their hair type. People with permed, dyed or otherwise damaged hair were warned to steer clear.  But aren’t women with “damaged, brittle, breaking or dry” hair precisely the market for a frizz-smoothing product? It’s kind of like selling cold medicine that’s dangerous to take if you have a cold.

I asked Suave why they discontinued the product and got this response:

Hello Kayla,

Thank you for contacting us regarding Suave Professionals Keratin Smoothing Kit.

We are committed to ensuring our consumers have an excellent experience with all of our products.  After receiving a greater-than-expected number of hair-related consumer complaints, we evaluated the Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion 30 Day Smoothing Kit and decided to discontinue its retail sale. 

We recommend trying the rest of the Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Line, including the shampoo, conditioner and the serum.

We don’t have any plans to reintroduce the product at this time.

 

Sincerely,

Your friends at Suave

Okay, Suave, I guess you can still be my “friends,” seeing as my hair isn’t breaking off in chunks.

The moral of the story is to ALWAYS FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. It will get you far in life and might even result in good hair.

Jean Genie

The heat index is already breaking 100 degrees in Austin these days. I decided to sacrifice a pair of vintage Levi’s to the cutoff cause. I cuffed them for now, but hopefully they’ll get a nice fray going.

Thrifted and customized David Bowie t-shirt, Levi’s shorts, Deena & Ozzy belt and boots

I tried doing a half moon manicure, House of Holland style. I can’t decide yet if it’s artistic or simply too messy and WTF-ish.

I’ve been doing some milkmaid braids lately, despite being called Princess Leia by most males I encounter. (She wore buns, guys. Buns!) But it’s really easy to pin up braids in the morning. The messier they get by evening, the better. And it shows off my weird blonde streak!

Jeweler Than Thou

I’ve never tried very seriously to make jewelry (unless braiding friendship bracelets in elementary school counts.) I have two sisters who are great at it, so I’ve happily kept my distance from loose gemstones and pliers. It’s fun to do the occasional low effort project, though.

I painted these while I was watching Pan Am (RIP), and I guess the early 1960s look came through.

I’d be the Duchamp of kitschy jewelry to say I made this guitar knob ring, since it only involved a little super glue (and a dream.) But I think it turned out very sturdy and cool– just far enough removed from the tiresome trend of incorporating guitar picks in accessories.