I was browsing ShoeBuy.com, and now my eyes aren’t the same.
L & C flower slides, $33.95
Make it stop.
Dambino Himalayan cat slippers, $29.95
The cat head turns 360 degrees.
Funtasma Crystal heels, $30.95
Is that a butterfly on the toe?! I wish these really were invisible. I don’t know what’s better: the brand name Funtasma or this customer review:
Reviewer: Mary from Near Boston, MA
“Actually, I bought this pair because I wanted to paint it purple, with a red heel (well, one of the 2!) to make a hat, if you can imagine. It will sit atop a rattan red disc, about 12” in diameter, decorated on the vamp with a red feather clip. The shoe will be surrounded by red and purple novelties; the “hat” will have crushed purple ribbon glued under it and a bit on top as well. Most elegant! And, oh yes, I’ll be glue-gunning a wide plastic headband underneath, so as to secure it to my head. So glad you had this product!
Wears this shoe: Will never be worn as a shoe, only as part of a hat; see comment above”
L & C Runner boot, $32.95
Perfect moon boots! Assuming the environmental crisis leads us to use the moon as a place to bury garbage.
Bettie Page booties, $25.45
No, you won’t look like Bettie Page in these. You will, however, look like a candy cane pirate witch.
I leave you with this hilarity:
Pleaser boots, $127.95
Okay, so they’re considerably more than $30. SHOE-PANTS don’t come for free. There is probably also a fine for wearing them.